The Millbrook Zucchini Festival Runs its Final Race
We are sorry to announce that the Zucchini Festival has run its course, run aground, floundered on the bottom of Baxter Creek. It's an ex-festival.
We had a good run, more than twenty years, and every bit of it was a joy. But the organizers were unable to find new blood to take it over - perhaps someone will be inspired to revive it at some point in the future and would do so with our blessing, or create something else equally as magical and precious, or whatever on the shores of Baxter Creek. But until then...
So long, and thanks for all the zucchinis
The Millbrook Zucchini Festival Test Bake Ovens Organizing Committee, August 2025
Festival 2025
Well, that was fun. Despite our worst fears a gadzillion zucchinis magically showed up on the banks of Baxter Creek on the morning of the festival, the sun came out, and despite gale force gusts that would have had Dorothy scrambling for the coal cellar we had one of our best festivals ever! More than eighty kids' boats and a dozen adult boats were built, decorated and raced down Baxter Creek, cakes and cupcakes were baked, poetry shared and the Scarecrow target satisfyingly pummelled by flying zucchini monkeys.
Looking forward to next year!
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What is this mysterious vegetable found on the Zion Line? |
Hench-Zukes Discovered on Zion Line! (Millbrook Times, August 2024)
In a rare statement issued just days ago, the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service (CSIS) disclosed troubling details about a potential threat to public safety. Even more unusual is the very precise local nature of this warning. During a tense press conference held at the Millbrook Legion, CSIS Agent Zelda Zuccarini was shockingly explicit: “If you think those long green things growing in your garden are mere harmless vegetables, think again! We have good reason to believe these alleged “zucchinis” pose a real danger to the safety and security of this community.”
Zuccarini described, in some detail, a nefarious plot that is expected to unfold in our very village. Silently lurking beneath a lavish canopy of leaves, these “zucchinis” are, in reality, the villainous hench-zukes of the dreaded Zukked Witch of Millbrook. And they are just waiting for their moment to spread their wings and wreak mayhem and havoc on our peaceful town.
“Unbeknownst to anyone, the Zukked Witch of Millbrook has been living a quiet life in our township for a number of years, tending a garden and keeping pretty much to herself. But surveillance reveals that she has just been getting ready to make her move,” Zuccarini explained. “Because of this, we have raised the public threat level to Emerald City Green - and we must all take it very seriously.”
It was due to the keen eye of Zion Line neighbour Zeno Zamboni that this fiendish plot came to light at all. In a confidential interview, Mr. Zamboni told us, “Well, there were just too many darned zucchinis growing in that small garden. And they were too big. Also most of them have wings.” His voice quivering slightly as he spoke, “It just didn’t seem normal. I contacted the authorities.”
Although the precise details of this threat remain somewhat murky, the public is advised to prepare for the arrival of the Zukked Witch of Millbrook and her seedy entourage on Sunday, September 8. Agent Zuccarini tells us that typically with this sort of invasion, we can expect chaos on both land and water - including an armada of heavily festooned zucchini boats, a daunting display of terrifyingly large zucchinis and, worst of all, a squadron of flying zukes. All this will undoubtedly be accompanied by shrieking children, weird poetry, and appropriately bonkers zucchini-themed music.
For your own safety, and the safety of our community as a whole, it is critical that we gather on the scenic shores of Baxter Creek on September 8 at X:00 in a show of solidarity and support. We will capture as many zucchinis as possible and decorate them into submission! We will cook them into cakes and bake them into casseroles! And yes, we will fling them through the air!
Bring your own zucchini if you have one - or take one of ours (please) and let’s show the Zukked Witch what we’re made of.
In a rare statement issued just days ago, the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service (CSIS) disclosed troubling details about a potential threat to public safety. Even more unusual is the very precise local nature of this warning. During a tense press conference held at the Millbrook Legion, CSIS Agent Zelda Zuccarini was shockingly explicit: “If you think those long green things growing in your garden are mere harmless vegetables, think again! We have good reason to believe these alleged “zucchinis” pose a real danger to the safety and security of this community.”
Zuccarini described, in some detail, a nefarious plot that is expected to unfold in our very village. Silently lurking beneath a lavish canopy of leaves, these “zucchinis” are, in reality, the villainous hench-zukes of the dreaded Zukked Witch of Millbrook. And they are just waiting for their moment to spread their wings and wreak mayhem and havoc on our peaceful town.
“Unbeknownst to anyone, the Zukked Witch of Millbrook has been living a quiet life in our township for a number of years, tending a garden and keeping pretty much to herself. But surveillance reveals that she has just been getting ready to make her move,” Zuccarini explained. “Because of this, we have raised the public threat level to Emerald City Green - and we must all take it very seriously.”
It was due to the keen eye of Zion Line neighbour Zeno Zamboni that this fiendish plot came to light at all. In a confidential interview, Mr. Zamboni told us, “Well, there were just too many darned zucchinis growing in that small garden. And they were too big. Also most of them have wings.” His voice quivering slightly as he spoke, “It just didn’t seem normal. I contacted the authorities.”
Although the precise details of this threat remain somewhat murky, the public is advised to prepare for the arrival of the Zukked Witch of Millbrook and her seedy entourage on Sunday, September 8. Agent Zuccarini tells us that typically with this sort of invasion, we can expect chaos on both land and water - including an armada of heavily festooned zucchini boats, a daunting display of terrifyingly large zucchinis and, worst of all, a squadron of flying zukes. All this will undoubtedly be accompanied by shrieking children, weird poetry, and appropriately bonkers zucchini-themed music.
For your own safety, and the safety of our community as a whole, it is critical that we gather on the scenic shores of Baxter Creek on September 8 at X:00 in a show of solidarity and support. We will capture as many zucchinis as possible and decorate them into submission! We will cook them into cakes and bake them into casseroles! And yes, we will fling them through the air!
Bring your own zucchini if you have one - or take one of ours (please) and let’s show the Zukked Witch what we’re made of.
Zucchinis in the News!
(from past festivals)
Zukosaurus threatening Millbrook! (Millbrook Times, August 2023)
Caution is advised for Millbrook residents after the recent shocking revelation of a possible dinosaur-zucchini hybrid creature roaming at large in the area. This alarming information came to light after a secret laboratory was discovered in the basement of a local home, where it is alleged that risky “experiments” have been taking place for years.Evidence uncovered at the home of retired zucchini farmer Alistair Voidborn suggests that he has been working on a project to fuse the DNA of the normally harmless zucchini with that of a Tyrannosaurus Rex to create a terrifying hybrid “Zukosaurus”. Using sophisticated scientific equipment and an illegally obtained dinosaur tooth stolen from the Royal Ontario Museum, Voidborn has been devoted to this project since before the pandemic. Calling it “a bit of an obsession” he admits that this undertaking has had some success, although he will not say whether such a creature has been released into the wild. A brief glance over the fence into Alistair Voidborn’s yard reveals several disturbingly oversized “zucchini” plants, producing what look to be very large “zucchinis”, some of which appear to have teeth.“I am but a simple zucchini farmer with a dream,” Mr. Voidborn says, in an interview from his jail cell. “Imagine how wonderful to see a field full of Zukosauruses! Right here in Millbrook!”Local authorities are less enthusiastic. “The potential danger to the public from a free-ranging zucchini-dinosaur hybrid on the loose around our peaceful village should be of great concern to all of us,” according to one conservation officer. “And there is some reason to believe that a release of such a creature - or creatures - has already taken place.”Although there has not yet been an officially documented sighting, suspicious dinosaur-like footprints have appeared on the island beside the Millbrook dam. One dog-walker, who wishes to remain anonymous, believes they saw something large and green in the woods along the Medd’s Mountain trail. “I mean, it could have been a tree…but I’m pretty sure I heard it roar. Scared the bejeezus out of my poor little dog Fluffy.”Investigation continues, but in the meantime, residents are advised to remain vigilant while walking anywhere in the area. Should you happen to come across any suspicious zucchini-dinosaur related evidence please report it immediately to the Millbrook Zucchinifest Safety Committee, who have the necessary skills and training to deal with such a potentially dangerous situation. Zucchinis all by themselves pose little threat to the community, but one can only imagine how terrifying a carnivourous, predatory Zukosaurus might be. It is recommended to keep any pets and small children inside until this threat has passed.Or until Zucchinifest on September 10. Whichever comes first.
Petrified Zucchini Moon Rocks! (Breaking news)
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Buzz Aldrin, collecting petrified zucchinis. |
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Rare petrified zucchini moon rock, to be on display at the upcoming festival. |
Breaking News! Fifth Zucchini Baby Left on Steps of Church
Clearly not heeding the advice of Doctor Susan Beanstock to seek a "culinary approach to the problem" (Millbrook Times, August 29, 2013), a fifth zucchini orphan has been discovered abandoned on the steps of the former United church in Millbrook.
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Photo received from perpetrator of zucchini abandonments |
The fact that each and every one of the accompanying hand-written notes pinned to the orphans is in the same handwriting leaves no doubt that these are the acts of a single, seriously deranged individual, and has nothing to do with distraught gardeners looking for a solution to a super abundance of zucchinis. Doubtlessly the perpetrator mistook the now private home of Anita and Ryan Huntley for a real church and were simply exploiting the time-honourd tradition of pastoral communites taking in orphaned vegetables and caring for them.
On a related note, this photograph, taken at an undisclosed location, displays this year's crop of zucchini orphans being donated to the Festival by the good people at Farmers' Dell in Campbellcroft. Will it be enough?
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This year's "volunteers" for the Zucchini Festival. |
Abandoned Zucchini Babies
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This poor little fella was left on the doorstep of the Pastry Peddlar in downtown Millbrook. |
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And this little foundling was abandoned in front of the Bear Essentials store. Both have become Facebook celebrities since. |
Guerilla Zucchini Plantings
In the spring of this year guerilla plantings of zucchinis began mysteriously showing up in flower gardens around the village with a sign saying, "I am just a little zucchini plant. Please let me live!" While some were unceremoniously rooted out, others survived and thrived. Like the one in the photo below.
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Zucchini plant growing under one of the ""Welcome to Millbrook" signs. |
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