tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63601656212799167592024-03-12T23:42:30.635-07:00MILLBROOK ZUCCHINI FESTIVALBill Slavinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05056237500818603134noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6360165621279916759.post-8142495975150239132011-08-02T14:17:00.018-07:002023-08-29T12:25:09.717-07:00Welcome to the official Millbrook Zucchini Festival Homepage<div style="margin: 0px;">
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<h2><span><span style="color: #38761d;">Yes, the Millbrook Zucchini Festival is back again!!</span></span></h2><h3><span style="color: #38761d; font-size: x-large;"><span><span><u>Carving table open from 12:30 until 2,<br /> </u></span></span><span><span><u>closes at 2 p.m. sharp for the boat races!</u></span></span></span></h3><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7MMcdSJtK_MUkcQKamqRTOPaCMlxnQj4aLMONxSyizOnj4n7VCLp_bn2vJdRvegVHEgafQ8dxdlZZpucTJIM7LqztUGMRL_6b67hNSSW3-Wjq7JUyhdtK5fuVaxVbQAZnTadhd87BG89FqDoLqwsfXHUUznL05dtFdWdeoh04vobwjbQQ-yhpTTHIA7o/s5100/zucchini%20festival%20poster%202023.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="5100" data-original-width="3300" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7MMcdSJtK_MUkcQKamqRTOPaCMlxnQj4aLMONxSyizOnj4n7VCLp_bn2vJdRvegVHEgafQ8dxdlZZpucTJIM7LqztUGMRL_6b67hNSSW3-Wjq7JUyhdtK5fuVaxVbQAZnTadhd87BG89FqDoLqwsfXHUUznL05dtFdWdeoh04vobwjbQQ-yhpTTHIA7o/w414-h640/zucchini%20festival%20poster%202023.jpg" width="414" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">We have a tentative schedule up <a href="https://millbrookzucchinifest.blogspot.com/p/events-in-detail.html" target="_blank">here</a> on our Events in Detail but stay tuned, same Zuke time, same Zuke channel for more information as it comes available.</div><h3 style="margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: center;"></h3></div></div></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><h2><span style="color: #38761d; font-size: x-large;"><span style="background-color: white; font-weight: 400;">Zucchinis in the News!</span></span></h2><h2><span style="background-color: white; color: #38761d; font-size: x-large;">Zukosaurus threatening Millbrook!</span></h2><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #38761d; font-size: x-large;"><div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Caution is advised for Millbrook residents after the recent shocking revelation of a possible dinosaur-zucchini hybrid creature roaming at large in the area. This alarming information came to light after a secret laboratory was discovered in the basement of a local home, where it is alleged that risky “experiments” have been taking place for years.</div><div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br class="" /></div><div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Evidence uncovered at the home of retired zucchini farmer Alistair Voidborn suggests that he has been working on a project to fuse the DNA of the normally harmless zucchini with that of a Tyrannosaurus Rex to create a terrifying hybrid “Zukosaurus”. Using sophisticated scientific equipment and an illegally obtained dinosaur tooth stolen from the Royal Ontario Museum, Voidborn has been devoted to this project since before the pandemic. Calling it “a bit of an obsession” he admits that this undertaking has had some success, although he will not say whether such a creature has been released into the wild. A brief glance over the fence into Alistair Voidborn’s yard reveals several disturbingly oversized “zucchini” plants, producing what look to be very large “zucchinis”, some of which appear to have teeth.</div><div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br class="" /></div><div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">“I am but a simple zucchini farmer with a dream,” Mr. Voidborn says, in an interview from his jail cell. “Imagine how wonderful to see a field full of Zukosauruses! Right here in Millbrook!”</div><div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br class="" /></div><div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Local authorities are less enthusiastic. “The potential danger to the public from a free-ranging zucchini-dinosaur hybrid on the loose around our peaceful village should be of great concern to all of us,” according to one conservation officer. “And there is some reason to believe that a release of such a creature - or creatures - has already taken place.” </div><div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br class="" /></div><div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Although there has not yet been an officially documented sighting, suspicious dinosaur-like footprints have appeared on the island beside the Millbrook dam. One dog-walker, who wishes to remain anonymous, believes they saw something large and green in the woods along the Medd’s Mountain trail. “I mean, it could have been a tree…but I’m pretty sure I heard it roar. Scared the bejeezus out of my poor little dog Fluffy.” </div><div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br class="" /></div><div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Investigation continues, but in the meantime, residents are advised to remain vigilant while walking anywhere in the area. Should you happen to come across any suspicious zucchini-dinosaur related evidence please report it immediately to the Millbrook Zucchinifest Safety Committee, who have the necessary skills and training to deal with such a potentially dangerous situation. Zucchinis all by themselves pose little threat to the community, but one can only imagine how terrifying a carnivourous, predatory Zukosaurus might be. It is recommended to keep any pets and small children inside until this threat has passed. </div><div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br class="" /></div><div class="" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Or until Zucchinifest <span dir="ltr">on September 10.</span> Whichever comes first.</div></span></div><div><span style="color: #38761d; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div>
<span style="color: #38761d; font-size: x-large;">Zucchinis in the News!<br /></span><i>(from past festivals)</i><br />
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9FrKDOP1aN4DXtf7pHMwenHps1BNQ8JGTTaDg-SSGgPqgikJvHrMkcQnvV6BF7vQRnCnTEJEc2oZNwbBpgxAx-JLofvxtz-Sqhi0K1eJmcc7SoyyYZEvAn8MebA2SQA2CQNGBscvA2d4qFfEgeYL3FRhZigx5Yh5yUqMVjKFOIRZx_nM7uYj6trDw/s3294/Zucchinis%20on%20the%20Moon%202019.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1836" data-original-width="3294" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9FrKDOP1aN4DXtf7pHMwenHps1BNQ8JGTTaDg-SSGgPqgikJvHrMkcQnvV6BF7vQRnCnTEJEc2oZNwbBpgxAx-JLofvxtz-Sqhi0K1eJmcc7SoyyYZEvAn8MebA2SQA2CQNGBscvA2d4qFfEgeYL3FRhZigx5Yh5yUqMVjKFOIRZx_nM7uYj6trDw/w400-h223/Zucchinis%20on%20the%20Moon%202019.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />One Giant Zucchini for Mankind</b></span> </span><o:p></o:p><span style="font-family: "times new roman", serif;">(Millbrook Times, August 2019)</span></div>
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<span class="s1"><i><span style="font-size: large;">Millbrook Zucchini Festival celebrates the 50th anniversary of this historic event on September 8</span></i></span><span style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="s1">The story of the Apollo 11 moon landing has, over the years, become almost mythical. The thrill of the blast-off. The nail-biting suspense of the lunar module’s descent to the moon’s surface. The sheer triumph of Neil Armstrong’s first immortal words: “One small step for man…” etc., etc. It’s all very warm and fuzzy.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span class="s1">But inaccurate. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span class="s1">In a candid deathbed interview, just hours before he passed away in 2012, Armstrong felt the need to set the record straight. “I didn’t say that at all,” he admitted. “But Mission Control had a secret. So they managed to distort my words in order to hide the shocking truth.”</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span class="s1">“One small step for man,” Armstrong continued. “One giant </span><span class="s2">zucchini </span><span class="s1">for mankind. </span><span class="s2">That’s </span><span class="s1">what I actually said. This has been bothering me for all these years.” </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span class="s1">In fact, when he stepped out of the landing module, Neil Armstrong’s boot landed right on top of one of the enormous lunar zucchinis causing him to nearly lose his balance. “Fortunately, the low gravity made it possible for me to catch myself and carry on as if everything were normal. But of course I was stunned. We were not prepared for this.” </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span class="s1">These moon zucchinis were, of course, the result of the highly classified cooperative project by the Nicaraguan Astral Seed Association (NASA) and the South Polynesian Agricultural Cooperative Enterprise (SPACE). It was an effort intended to provide a healthy, nutritious food supply for interplanetary travellers. And it was a great success. And also, sadly, a tragic failure.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span class="s1">Although the zucchinis grew well, as they tend to do, the arrival of the Apollo 11 astronauts ruined everything. The United States was humiliated at having been beaten to the moon by such piddly space agencies as Nicaragua and Polynesia and made sure that the world never learned the truth. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span class="s1">In a recent interview, Luis Ernesto Garcia Hernandes de Cortés, director of the Zucchini Interplanetary Project (ZIP) was bitter. “We got there first. We planted the zucchinis. No one knows. No one cares.” Mission Dietary Director, Huhulu Ka’uane, was more realistic. “Nobody really eats zucchini anyway. We should have grown tomatoes.”</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span class="s1">On September 8, 2019, we will once again gather on the shores of Baxter Creek (beside Ye Olde Millbrook Arena) to celebrate the noble zucchini and proudly recall the 50th anniversary of The First Zucchinis on the Moon. Come and carve your zucchini into a prize-winning sculpture (special award for space-based entries) or zucchini boat, race your zucchini boats down Baxter Creek, dunk your noggin in the “neutral buoyancy lab” zucchini bobbing tank, and test your aim with the giant zucchini “Moonshot” slingshot. Or if cooking is more your forte, sharpen your kitchen knives and bring down your favourite zucchini dish, sweet or savoury to enter in the cooking contest. There is also another special top secret no tech event planned for this year, with all of the excitement happening within earshot of this year’s amazing festival house band Led Zucchini (a.k.a. Cellar Door).</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span class="s1">All events are free and a pile of zucchinis will be supplied for your carving, floating and slingshooting pleasure courtesy of our local market gardeners at Circle Organics and Chick-a-biddy Acres as well as other generous community zucchini growers. Remember that it all happens between 12:30 and 3 p.m. so be sure to get down early in order to have time to enjoy all the fun as well as carve and decorate your zucchinis before the boat races start at 2 p.m. sharp. Food will be available for purchase on site supplied by Reggies of Peterborough.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Petrified Zucchini Moon Rocks!</span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> (Breaking news)</span></h4>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Buzz Aldrin, collecting petrified zucchinis.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnjaicLnz5-iO8Pb9POnJs4hf2y4qzE-upq_HO8SvlrdwGlqSVvO4Sxo8aRXpz7eA14oPe_Uh1X6W-fNO8Kgkpbf4c7ZvMkpsYhOj6T6VGP_BNarX6f3JTiuW94XngUjciMKADDoF2c2g/s1600/Image-7.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1164" data-original-width="1600" height="464" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnjaicLnz5-iO8Pb9POnJs4hf2y4qzE-upq_HO8SvlrdwGlqSVvO4Sxo8aRXpz7eA14oPe_Uh1X6W-fNO8Kgkpbf4c7ZvMkpsYhOj6T6VGP_BNarX6f3JTiuW94XngUjciMKADDoF2c2g/s640/Image-7.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rare petrified zucchini moon rock, to be on display at the upcoming festival.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">One of our intrepid Zucchini Test Bake Oven volunteers took it upon herself to contact the Smithsonian museum and spoke to the curator of the vegetation department.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">She negotiated a one month loan of a petrified zucchini that Apollo 11 astronaut, Michael Collins, secretly brought back from the 1969 lunar landing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This little known item was graciously donated to the museum after his nephew found it packed away in a box in the garage in 1984.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Michael Collins piloted the command module Columbia alone in lunar orbit while astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were on the Moon's surface. Armstrong and Aldrin spent 21.5 hours on the lunar surface before rejoining Columbia in lunar orbit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This well-preserved specimen was collected on July 21 1969, by Buzz Aldrin who gave it to Collins as a souvenir.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This rare and interesting piece will be available for viewing at the registration table. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 18pt;">First Zucchinis on the Moon! </span></b>(Millbrook Times, August 2019)</div>
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In all the excitement of the 50th anniversary of the lunar landing, we often forget that humans were not the first life force to arrive on (never mind colonize!) the moon.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Prior to sending humans to the lunar surface, and even before poor Laika's famous but ill-fated journey to space, zucchinis had not only arrived, but indeed were thriving on the moon. While the super powers vied with one another over who would win the space race, one of the first international joint space endeavours ever, the Nicaraguan Astral Seed Association (NASA) and the South Polynesian Agricultural Cooperative Enterprise (SPACE), pooled resources to put the first zucchini on the moon.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In a recent interview, Luis Ernesto Garcia Hernandes de Cortés, director of the top secret Zucchini Interplanetary Project (ZIP), was quite humble about this remarkable feat. “As you can imagine, the Nicaraguan Astral Seed Association was very small. We hoped, of course, that the zucchinis would arrive on the moon, be we never expected them to do as well as they did.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mission Dietary Director, Huhulu Ka’uhane, was more practical. “We wanted to establish a food source for our astronauts, for when they eventually made the journey to the moon. After a long space flight, can you imagine how wonderful some grilled zucchini would taste?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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The joint enterprise succeeded beyond all expectations. The low gravity combined with the unique soil composition allowed the lunar zucchinis not only to thrive but to grow to enormous proportions! Unfortunately, the two corporations were bankrupted by the lunar project and were never able to raise the resources to harvest this zucchini bounty.<o:p></o:p></div>
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All of this, of course, only fuels the flames of speculation as the curious ask, “Where <i>were</i> the giant zucchinis when the Eagle lunar module landed? If this is all true then should the first man on the moon not have been met by waving verdant fields of astral-sized leaves and giant-sized zucchinis sprawled out on the lunar surface like so many beached whales, rather than a barren waste land of space rocks?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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The simple and most obvious answer is that, as has so often been surmised, the entire lunar landing was faked. Watch future issues of this paper to read about the elaborate ploy to cover up the first life force colonization of the moon. And do your part as amateur revisionist historians and come down to help celebrate...First Zucchinis on the Moon!<o:p></o:p></div>
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On September 8, 2019, we will be gathering by the sunny shores of Baxter Creek (next to Ye Olde Millbrooke Arena) to celebrate this auspicious event. The 20th Almost Annual Zucchini Festival will run from 12 to 4 and is a family-friendly afternoon hallmarked by free zucchini-related events.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Was the moon landing faked? You be the judge. Download the shocking exposé, Operation Avalanche:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #386eff; font-family: "times new roman", serif; text-align: start;"><a href="https://itunesapple.com/us/movie/operation-avalanche/id1175937287Sent" style="color: purple; font-family: "times new roman", serif; text-align: start;">https://itunesapple.com/us/movie/operation-avalanche/id1175937287</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt; font-size: large;"><b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiTiwzKrRGHd6lh1DgACijvO37KNqxLi2tpxgngKni8d0gsyruulXm7ExRE4LYUS3DD0qBP73suXRszvZsJmhGvocmacRFkBjo_IdYBfkaG4qX5k3bFxOQqTxXM0NHOJr7RF8c6F4xxJTuKvvJUFWEXlyaox2OpMB1RF-WCanuNmzG9HDXuNlxzQhS/s942/Poster%20title.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="567" data-original-width="942" height="386" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiTiwzKrRGHd6lh1DgACijvO37KNqxLi2tpxgngKni8d0gsyruulXm7ExRE4LYUS3DD0qBP73suXRszvZsJmhGvocmacRFkBjo_IdYBfkaG4qX5k3bFxOQqTxXM0NHOJr7RF8c6F4xxJTuKvvJUFWEXlyaox2OpMB1RF-WCanuNmzG9HDXuNlxzQhS/w640-h386/Poster%20title.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />150th Annual Zucchini Festival</b></span><span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt; font-size: medium;"> </span>(Millbrook Times, August 3, 2017)</div>
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Amidst the hubbub surrounding Canada's sesquicentennial, it would be easy to forget that 2017 also marks the 150<sup>th</sup> anniversary of the first Millbrook Zucchini Festival. This year's festival, which will take place on<b> </b><span class="gmail-aBn" tabindex="0">September 10, 2017</span> along the sunny shores of Baxter Creek, commemorates that momentous occasion, 150 years ago, when a group of visionary farmers met in Millbrook to discuss the dubious future of the much-maligned zucchini in our fledgling township.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt; text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: small;">As can be seen here, the oft-misrepresented painting of the “Fathers of Confederation” is clearly the first meeting of the Millbrook Zucchini Test Bake Ovens Organizing Committee, held in the gathering room of the old Old Millbrook School on July 25, 1867. Through the windows one can identify downtown Millbrook as it was then, along with the millpond.</span></span></td></tr>
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It was determined at that historic meeting that the best way to preserve and promote our weird zucchini heritage would be to host an annual festival. The festival, they decided, would honour a heritage that dated back to early colonial times when giant zucchini canoes piled high with pelts plied the lakes and waterways of British North America in support of the European's insatiable need for furs. This tradition continued with the great zucchini drives of the 1800's when the Canadian zucchinis were used to build the sailing ships that gave Britain dominance over the world.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt; text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: small;">Zucchinis helped build the Canada we know as evidenced here by their presence at that seminal event, the driving in of the last spike in Canada's coast to coast railroad. A little known alternate fact is that the railroad was built primarily to facilitate the transport of zucchinis.</span></span></td></tr>
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Little did our forefathers imagine that their festival would continue uninterrupted for the next 150 years, growing from hosting the more traditional zucchini events like the zucchini toss and zucchini wrestling to the current fun-filled day of zucchini carving, boat races in the creek, cooking contests, zucchini bobbing, and zucchini poetry and song. </div>
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Events planned for this year's sesquicentennial include, well, pretty much the same things as the festival has done in the past. However, a very special tribute is being planned to mark this special occasion. And if you're guessing a Giant Rubber Zucchini in the Millbrook pond, you might be on the right track.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt; text-align: start;">Every spring the previous fall's harvest of zucchinis would be floated via Canada's turbulent waterways from our great</span><span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt; text-align: start;">zucchini farms </span></span><span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt; text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: small;">in the north to mills where they would be cut into filets and shipped around the world.</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: black; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt, serif;"><b style="font-size: x-large;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga0SgVr54VbkJCCI5nmZWgAG4L8GlphLPNXhgj9_zcJdoxCS-ozBzsTv9VZk6PKSFUhu1x0MStsJGAaFGGUt-RbshvfVnW4qa6OIEh7-LqeqiGIWnZLA9ZFyBLnFXh6KtE9PucFWXck_PMRdcgq0paQGlPLemBznlEL2JK8qySW4diGgRsVl6yM1Mw/s2609/Zukemon%20logo%20colour%20(noGo).jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1122" data-original-width="2609" height="138" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga0SgVr54VbkJCCI5nmZWgAG4L8GlphLPNXhgj9_zcJdoxCS-ozBzsTv9VZk6PKSFUhu1x0MStsJGAaFGGUt-RbshvfVnW4qa6OIEh7-LqeqiGIWnZLA9ZFyBLnFXh6KtE9PucFWXck_PMRdcgq0paQGlPLemBznlEL2JK8qySW4diGgRsVl6yM1Mw/s320/Zukemon%20logo%20colour%20(noGo).jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Strange
outbreak hits local zucchini patch</b><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Millbrook Times, Sept. 1, 2016)</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Gordon
Nomekuz has been farming in this area for over 40 years but this
season has presented him with a unique challenge. And it isn’t the
drought.</span></span></span></div>
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“<span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Darnedest
thing I ever saw,” Gord says, as we walk through 67 acres of beans,
peppers, tomatoes and other vegetables. “I planted them the same as
every year but they didn’t come up the same, I can tell you that
much.” He points toward a healthy zucchini plant. As we approach
the plant, it becomes obvious what the problem is.</span></span></span></div>
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“<span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">There,”
Gord says, lifting a leaf.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">A
bright blue zucchini, but with eyes, ears and a sort of tail peeks
out from under the plant.</span></span></span></div>
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“<span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">And
there’s more of them. Every plant. All different colours,” Gord
tells me, the frustration obvious in his voice. “Can’t sell ‘em.
Nobody wants to cook these things when they look at you like that.”</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">We
walk further down the row – yellow ones, red ones, a few green ones
– these bizarre mutant zucchinis are puzzling, to say the least.
The tomato crop, growing right beside them, is apparently unaffected
by the mysterious syndrome, which has struck more than one zucchini
patch in this area. Other farmers have reported a similar problem,
with many of them resorting to drastic measures to control the
outbreak. One farmer, who preferred to remain anonymous, has taken to
spraying her zucchini patch with Lysol in an attempt to stop the
spread. “I think it’s a virus,” she said. “This should kill
it.”</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">But
scientists are more cautiously optimistic about the situation.
Agricultural researcher Dr. Inicchuz, of the University of Guelph,
suggests that we learn to live with the oddities, rather than
eradicate them. “Our preliminary studies seem to show that these
zucchinis may actually be good for the environment,” he says.
“Tests on several red ones and a couple of yellows has revealed
higher serotonin levels on individuals who are exposed to these
zucchinis, leading to an increase of both mirth and glee. Frankly, we
were surprised.” And although scientists can’t guarantee that
these results are permanent, they do appear to last for several hours
at the very least.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: timesnewromanpsmt, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">But
Gordon Nomekuz is unconvinced. “I don’t like it one bit. I’m
telling you, it’s all these crazy kids and their interwebs and
their cell phones – ruining everything for the rest of us. I just
want my old zucchinis back.”</span></span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 24px; font-weight: bold;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 24px; font-weight: bold;">Breaking News! Fifth Zucchini Baby Left on Steps of Church</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Clearly not heeding the advice of Doctor Susan Beanstock to seek a "culinary approach to the problem" (Millbrook Times, August 29, 2013), a fifth zucchini orphan has been discovered abandoned on the steps of the former United church in Millbrook. <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbzQ9ZAfPBpaoKkI5Hc5HADFnFl6dKKuvbBWDe1jsgo3UarchMJqK5Awsvw7UniQw4wMwXMJysmjuKM-OXJVYBpGYiIme_RMJ0DblTlVzWHud-27rUlmsBM7qSXbIIGYGAjQ2xgG4AcNs/s1600/zucchini+baby+5photo.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbzQ9ZAfPBpaoKkI5Hc5HADFnFl6dKKuvbBWDe1jsgo3UarchMJqK5Awsvw7UniQw4wMwXMJysmjuKM-OXJVYBpGYiIme_RMJ0DblTlVzWHud-27rUlmsBM7qSXbIIGYGAjQ2xgG4AcNs/s320/zucchini+baby+5photo.jpg" width="231" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo received from perpetrator of zucchini abandonments</td></tr>
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As the grainy photograph accompanying this article illustrates, the perpetrator seems to take a certain vicarious glee in their acts of wanton abandonment, documenting each and every instance and forwarding disturbing photos like this to members of the Zucchini Festival Organizing Committee. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The fact that each and every one of the accompanying hand-written notes pinned to the orphans is in the <i>same</i> handwriting leaves no doubt that these are the acts of a single, seriously deranged individual, and has nothing to do with distraught gardeners looking for a solution to a super abundance of zucchinis. Doubtlessly the perpetrator mistook the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">now private home of Anita and Ryan Huntley </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">for a real church and were simply exploiting the time-honourd tradition of pastoral communites taking in orphaned vegetables and caring for them.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">On a related note, this photograph, taken at an undisclosed location, displays this year's crop of zucchini orphans being donated to the Festival by the good people at Farmers' Dell in Campbellcroft. Will it be enough?</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_6SCEGmOGUqqiSTnpFPDf5l3Y1-BaHZ9bwW10feZmiUvW3dVn4Ad_8lt1WyLiwV3zcETf3IRPRyqZtVDHltXvd3FNOcoTEQ6jVtlVhtmKSkiaxs7PqzD3RW_d4zxSKRv-LQhdje3mdBg/s1600/IMG_4884.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_6SCEGmOGUqqiSTnpFPDf5l3Y1-BaHZ9bwW10feZmiUvW3dVn4Ad_8lt1WyLiwV3zcETf3IRPRyqZtVDHltXvd3FNOcoTEQ6jVtlVhtmKSkiaxs7PqzD3RW_d4zxSKRv-LQhdje3mdBg/s640/IMG_4884.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This year's "volunteers" for the Zucchini Festival.</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 24px; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 24px; font-weight: bold;">Abandoned Zucchini Babies</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv-Wtyu4oXhUNqzL-luu3cRrW-g4xRoHg3mJfK3FG1NIghX3-7h-V0fflckoVfjHhyphenhyphenGsEV5beGLzofWXidc2N-tMEZKEXGb3eTsXtY-9jZKlXr-GerfwMwipZR-9OmSOPkxNS2b0o1tYg/s1600/zucchini+2.png" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv-Wtyu4oXhUNqzL-luu3cRrW-g4xRoHg3mJfK3FG1NIghX3-7h-V0fflckoVfjHhyphenhyphenGsEV5beGLzofWXidc2N-tMEZKEXGb3eTsXtY-9jZKlXr-GerfwMwipZR-9OmSOPkxNS2b0o1tYg/s640/zucchini+2.png" width="425" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>This poor little fella was left on the doorstep of the Pastry Peddlar in downtown Millbrook.</i></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">There has been a recent spate of orphaned zucchini babies left on downtown doorsteps over the past month or so. Whether these are simply the result of careless zucchini family planting leading to unwanted vegetative offspring or a coldly calculated but misguided attempt to build interest in the upcoming Millbrook Zucchini Festival no one knows for sure. And who the perpetrator is remains a complete mystery.</span></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 24px; font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large; font-weight: normal;">When contacted for comment the festival organizers said, "We do not condone the wanton abandonment of orphaned zucchinis. But we would be happy to give the little fellas' spirits a lift and the thrill of a lifetime with our Giant Zucchini Bambini Jollyjumper Slingshot on Sunday, September 8!"</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEa150FqMTiXyVuuIXzByE9tCXj4ZHJAfoA-1ELqaQIBcLQ0cV-Uy6HmiUugUUdMY39rcUYRTAhQESxEA2VijahHQ-8qzTLrcez9V0g4CzJyR_Af5pGXpzoeZWuahdwJYaXDB7ZVU3gqQ/s1600/zucchini+1.png" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEa150FqMTiXyVuuIXzByE9tCXj4ZHJAfoA-1ELqaQIBcLQ0cV-Uy6HmiUugUUdMY39rcUYRTAhQESxEA2VijahHQ-8qzTLrcez9V0g4CzJyR_Af5pGXpzoeZWuahdwJYaXDB7ZVU3gqQ/s640/zucchini+1.png" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>And this little foundling was abandoned in front of the Bear Essentials store. Both have become Facebook celebrities since.</i></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 24px; font-weight: bold;">Guerilla Zucchini Plantings</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In the spring of this year guerilla plantings of zucchinis began mysteriously showing up in flower gardens around the village with a sign saying, "I am just a little zucchini plant. Please let me live!" While some were unceremoniously rooted out, others survived and thrived. Like the one in the photo below.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDrtMB-2BtBEY6FKIfg6rD1eCT8fSGRrvv46b5xMFiUDwopgGdaRHiGTzQ_doWxbwwBQ30hiWIaJ2wzvK10wI8E7Y1UNLH_hyphenhyphen9miq7n3ZwPd76gNOlTsfZ6eZc9EGy9nRbKy4F0CldvCc/s1600/image.jpeg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDrtMB-2BtBEY6FKIfg6rD1eCT8fSGRrvv46b5xMFiUDwopgGdaRHiGTzQ_doWxbwwBQ30hiWIaJ2wzvK10wI8E7Y1UNLH_hyphenhyphen9miq7n3ZwPd76gNOlTsfZ6eZc9EGy9nRbKy4F0CldvCc/s400/image.jpeg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Zucchini plant growing under one of the ""Welcome to Millbrook" signs.</i></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">One of those rooted out was replaced by this sign:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHqeZ01yS7PNuQloTyZCdWKPi_l0rElnUGpIbiB4le5Cy5U2OZL6MbRilLZMF39D13XyKH4-H9jc8jwAOwl_mhnWmybMMgpEBGW613nQsqQVy8Iv5To1CIuAwwLwjjZfEa64fyp4uxSV8/s1600/IMG_4692.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHqeZ01yS7PNuQloTyZCdWKPi_l0rElnUGpIbiB4le5Cy5U2OZL6MbRilLZMF39D13XyKH4-H9jc8jwAOwl_mhnWmybMMgpEBGW613nQsqQVy8Iv5To1CIuAwwLwjjZfEa64fyp4uxSV8/s400/IMG_4692.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Which inspired the unpublished cartoon below.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMwvU0LkOvTYJ-UGsFAf_hZgTNyKFCZSh0J1IddZ2fJjWFJT4BnUeWCwxStORRMalgjTW654TcuIHReTnjS5gN_BiZu1NgS5AghpqpGj2y33etcDW1mrVMfa_zzqq0fmsqidI5TwxOeFU/s1600/Legion+sign001.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="498" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMwvU0LkOvTYJ-UGsFAf_hZgTNyKFCZSh0J1IddZ2fJjWFJT4BnUeWCwxStORRMalgjTW654TcuIHReTnjS5gN_BiZu1NgS5AghpqpGj2y33etcDW1mrVMfa_zzqq0fmsqidI5TwxOeFU/s640/Legion+sign001.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">When contacted for comment the festival organizers said, "We do not condone the wanton planting of zucchinis in other people's gardens, nor the callous derision inspired by such plantings by cartoonists with clearly too much time on their hands. But if any of the little fellas manage to survive until maturity, we invite you to bring them down to the Millbrook Zucchini Festival on Sunday, September 8, carve them into boats and sink them in the creek!"</span><br />
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Bill Slavinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05056237500818603134noreply@blogger.com0